Next please

I am 23. Happy person.


Somehow I feel I have lived enough. In the good sense. I've had so many intense, happy, painful, awkward, dangerous, humiliating, relieving, comfortable, lazy, melancholic, reviving, powerful experiences. I have been obese, depressed and socially marginal. I have been super fit and super-social. I believed in Santa Claus, have felt the glory and strength of a Christian mystery deep inside me, I have stopped believing in a God, have swam, have ran, have ran away, have taught, have had 'eureka' moments, have fallen in love, have been loved, have traveled, have been lost & found.

From now on I will be experiencing more of these moments. Maybe with different protagonists, on different stages and from different perspectives. OK, so what? I will never stop getting excited by a beautiful hike or a beautiful person or a beautiful song. I will always feel pain when injured or losing friends & family or learning that some people suffer. Same story. Good story, interesting. But somehow, I feel the urge to keep discovering sides of the human potential. My potential. What's next?

I see people living empty lives, and they know, they admit it, but "what to do now?". No, not empty in real. Rather flat, with extremely few and weak excitements, tons of tiredness and regret, constant compromise, ignorance of what's happening around and inside us.

I have never succeeded to really touch these people, no matter how much I can empathize with them. I've never managed to brighten their lives. I've never felt the satisfaction of seriously contributing to the for-good upgrade of someone's life.

That's my challenge. That is my destination, now.