Will I ever stop having these?

Just had this worst weekend..wait, Friday too. It's been three days

of me doing nothing but staying all alone home, on the internet eating sad, huge quantities of embarassing crappy-quality food, sleeping a lot, masturbating mindlessly, feeling sick and heavy and slow and weak and a useless meaningless piece of shit.

All alone! Three days with practically no physical interaction with a human being.

I'll probably find someone fashioning a beard and glasses and stuff like that, or a wonderful woman.

My dear, dearest beloved person,

I believe I need a dear dearest beloved person to exchange mail with. [DDBP it is]

My life has been magnificently interesting and rich. Objectively you might find way more multifarious or content lives but it's not a competition. I feel I've lived enough. My curiosity is still alive & kicking, yet, I realize, that's just one of the working elements that comprise my existence, along with urges, weaknesses, understanding and the miracle of love.

FUCK YOU

I don't mean to be offensive. Or personal. I refer to no one in particular. It's an exclamation.

Just FUCK YOU man, or whoever you are(n't).

I suppose I learn some thing every day, but only understand I've learned something new, like game changing new, every few months. That's splendid, don't you agree? The older I get the richer I become :D

I...

I... 

You know what?