Ground Zero

The 7 kilos I've put in 7 months.

theNeed
To

Create

I stopped creating. My life is mostly empty. My depressive days are plentiful. My brain is blunt.

and, somehow, it's OK

I feel it's not a big deal

you might argue that if I do not make a big deal out of it, I may take longer to escape it

maybe

maybe not though

I'm still trying to do better. It's just that I don't worry much about being that low.

See, feeling extreme pain I might have a stronger urge to escape it, but wouldn't it be harder to escape, feeling all the pain of being psychologically handicapped?

So, I think, getting get back on my feet isn't hindered by taking my lousiness lightly.

I know that when back in a good state, my shape will be good, my social life will be vivid and I'll be having good laughs and probably love and sex. I'll be creating, anything, and I'll be utterly grateful, as I've often been when in such heavenly periods.

What I don't know is how it will happen. Which positive events I will succeed to roll first (or I'll be lucky enough to stumble upon).

I don't know if I'll first manage to exercise, or start dating or start creating. It doesn't matter much. They are all coming, and I'm looking forward to being back in business.

I just have to run, play, write, sleep, and keep breathing.

and sure, I know I'll fall again, and again. It's OK.