Monday, March 21, 2016

What up?



I'm not particularly interested in consuming masterpieces, though sure it helps, not unlike food and motion.

Moondog, you have changed my what music is! I love you SO much.

I'm not particularly interested in creating consumable masterpieces, though sure it helps, wouldn't it distract or absorb me which I've sworn I won't let.


I'm not particularly interested in expressing my feelings so that people really understand me. Of course it helps, not unlike food and motion.

I'm not particularly interested in doing great science, though I believe it's the way ahead. I don't see myself doing science as much as opening doors and paving the way for passionate scientists.

I'm not particularly interested in finding true love and contentment, though I feel unspeakably thirsty. I can accept my thirst, I'm pretty confident there will be wonderful moments and yet more love-induced sorrow, all shaking me in a useful or at least interesting manner.

None of the above gets me off the bed every single morning.

What does, what keeps me alive, what makes me grateful for every single day of my life, what I'm interested in is interaction.

How to connect nodes. How to craft bonding agents. How to decipher and play with the way entities connect. Be that humans, organs, concepts, insects, ripples, materials.

I can almost see how profound is what I can not see. What I can not express or touch. The closer I get the heavier and scarier it feels.


If I could put in words what I mean I'd already have made great progress, but I'm not still there, but that's what I am for.

Year after year, I feel I'm getting closer. Walking blindfolded, fumbling on the thin air, trying to smell and listen carefully through the noise for nuance that will navigate me on the seemingly flat, blunt surface. I feel I'm walking right by an abysmal cliff, getting closer and closer, but I have no idea how far I am or if I walk towards it or ridiculously, almost in parallel, or if my hunch is at all valid.

I want to fall off that cliff.

No comments:

Post a Comment